It may be that you once had confidence and self-assurance but self-esteem issues and feelings of self-doubt have crept into your life and you can’t explain why. Or it may be that you know the exact point when things ‘went wrong’, the death of a loved one, the ending of a relationship or a major life event that has caused you trauma. But its also possible that you never had much confidence in yourself, perhaps as a result of a dysfunctional upbringing and the lack of nurturing support and love.
Whichever the cause and whether it’s around relationships, love and friendship, or your career and professional life, self-worth and self-esteem issues can get into the way of life and sometimes can result in serious emotional problems such as depression, anxiety, loneliness and addictions.
Therapy for low self-esteem helps by exploring how these negative feelings may have evolved and have come to take hold. It is important to acknowledge that how we feel about ourselves can affect all areas of our lives. How we talk to ourselves can have an impact on our self-esteem. Working towards developing a more positive internal voice can help to value yourself more fully which in turn will positively impact on your personal, social or work relationships too.
“Someday we’ll be able to measure the power of words. I think they are things. They get on the walls. They get in your wallpaper. They get into your rugs, in your upholstery, and your clothes, and finally into you”
Maya Angelou
Perfectionism
Perfectionism and low self-esteem are closely linked, forming a potentially vicious cycle. Perfectionism, often driven by a need to feel worthy or control, involves striving for an unattainable ideal and focusing on perceived flaws and mistakes. This relentless self-criticism can erode self-confidence and lead to a negative self-image and feelings of inadequacy. Researchers have shown that parts of perfectionism are helpful, and parts are unhelpful. Therapy helps you identify and work on the unhelpful parts, so that you get satisfaction from your achievements and lead a more fulfilling life. The ultimate goal is to accept the wholeness of the self with its strengths and limitations and to let go of the expectation that you should be perfect.